Welcome to my silly little blog! Have a look around
Quick thoughts:
blog under construction again… don’t mind any doors leading to nowhere
Manifestation is real! #thanku2mycatholicgrandnother
I’ve been re-reading My Dark Vanessa, and I’ve been aching at her reflection staring back at me. Analysis to come
need 2 escape 2 New York soon- im only 22 for so long 𓀤𓀥
need 2 consume nootropics asap
LATEST STORIES
The Length of my Nails
I’ve only gotten my nails professionally done twice in my 23 years of living. Once for my 15th birthday, when I lived with my mom and was finally allowed to do things like other girls my age, and again 3 years later for a combination of my senior portraits and homecoming dance. Because of that, I’ve grew to pride myself on the length and durability of my natural nails. I noticed the true beauty of imperfect nails my freshman year of college. A coworker was rushing to get settled and clock in, and in the chaos of her stuffing things…
The “She” I Know
I may not know my best friend’s favorite movie, if she had any pets growing up, I may not even remember the year she was born- but I’ll always know her age. I know her order from the coffee shop, even on days she insists she’s “trying to switch it up”. I know exactly what snacks get her jumping up and down and her drink of choice. The drinks that make her gag and the ones she’ll insist she’ll love you forever if you hand her one. I know the way her voice gets softer as sleep begins to take…
afterparty
I think what I miss most about boys from college was having somebody to go home to when the bars close. Go home drunk, go home messy, go home to someone that, even briefly, knew who I was after the party was over. The slight stumble through their door, excited arms thrown around their neck in an embrace. The giggle drenched “hello handsome” in between fingers pressed against their chests. The crooked socks, pale lips, tangled hair. The drool pooled on their chests as snores escape lips. The weeping laughs of joy that fade into bursts of pain as the…
What Makes A Name
As a kid, I spent countless hours before bed wondering about the weight of a name. How a name can shape the people we become. Does a childhood nickname make you revert back to a much younger, far more timid version of yourself? Does your middle name remind you of the person you were in high school? A name only friends from ten lifetimes ago called you? A name that was once drenched in adoration, slowly morphing into the sound of medicine dripping down their throats? But what weight does my name hold on other people when I’m not around?…
Time Traveler
I remember a conversation I had with a girlfriend once. “Sometimes I really do believe I’m a time traveler” “Yeah?” The air was crisp- the perfect balance for the wind to hit your skin with just the right amount of heat while the air sucked into your lungs drew slightly cold. The ground was wet, stifling the sound of the orange leaves crunching under our feet. The neighborhood she lived in held a special charm. They were a polite kind of wealthy. The houses were quaint- small enough to avoid assumptions, but just subtly littered with signs of their status.…
HonkyTonk Saloon
I spent the night at the bar where we “met”, hearing everyone refer to another man as my boyfriend. It was okay until we were alone, without the noise and fuss drowning out thoughts of you.Cock Johnson, I miss you so much
Pause on the Moment
Initially, I wanted to tell a greater story- sharing every minute detail, decoding them. And even though it’s been brief, the shindig chronicles have served its purpose in my life- i’m moving forward. Maybe one day the air will be the perfect temperature or the wind will hit my nose just right, and I’ll find myself there again- but for now, I’ll share the fleeting memories that still haunt me, letting go. As my 23rd birthday approaches and as the summer begins to fade, I’m sure your 21st birthday has crept its way around and we’re nearly exiting that very…
What A Girl Wants (from her blog)
I’ve spent a great deal of time deciding what I want out of this blog. I purchased the initial domain in January 2024, spent weeks tweaking the website layout and choosing which tabs to feature, did a little research on optimization… and then… moot! Fin. Done-ito. My blog was abandoned. Normally, I’d keep a more “gathered” voice in my posts, but that’s just me masking my personality (yet again) under the guise of professionalism. This is my life, and I live it freely. Like most people in their early 20s, I’ve been struggling to figure myself out, and I don’t…
The Warm Embrace of Uncertainty: On Growing Up and Letting Go
Dear diary, I am slowly learning how to embrace the future. When I was 13, I’d walk around and tell anybody that would listen, “I’m going to die by the time I’m 40.” I’m not entirely sure why 40 specifically. Maybe it was the perfect sweet spot in my head — not too old, and not too young. Enough life in me left to have had potential, but not spry enough to have claimed an unfulfilled life. I had it all figured out until then, I guess. I’d have a beautiful home in Arizona with a prominent career in finance.…
Strangers in Comforting Bodies: On the Desire to Be Known
Last night I found myself somewhere I don’t belong- yet again. The laugh and smile were familiar, but the surroundings were not. Heck, he hardly was. I want to say that in those two hours we spent, we felt close and connected again, but I didn’t. I felt like I was talking to a friend that I just so happen to enjoy exploring sexually. It was strange. I guess I hardly knew him to begin with, but there was an additional layer of disheartenment lying in unfamiliar surroundings with a boy I had spent months pining over- with a boy…
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